Kid Falling Down Keeps Getting Better Funny Reddit

A little lizard

A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"

A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Peeing in the Flowers...

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it?'"

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes!'"

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

What is cowhide mostly used for?

Keeping cows from falling apart.

So last night I fell off my balcony...

Instead of falling and getting really badly hurt, I kinda just floated down to the ground... landing without a scratch.

The news spread fast and everyone was wondering how that happened. I was later asked to explain the whole event, but I couldn't. I guess I just didn't get the whole gravity of the situation.

Not so funny short joke

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor? 1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

What's the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?

One of them is a meatier shower.

Why don't Africans go on cruises?

They're not falling for that one again.

I tried to be a tap dancer

but I kept falling in the sink!

(thank you, british uncle ken for that dry humor)

Why don't black people go on cruises?

They aren't falling for that one again.

What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?

The snow, dumbass.

You can explore falling boeing reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean falling rooftop dad jokes. There are also falling puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Instructions for falling down stairs...

Step 1

Step 2

Step 4

Step 8

A racist joke (be warned and don't take offense)

Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?

They're not falling for that one again..

A falling battery killed a man today.

It was charged with murder.

Asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise..

I just asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise this summer. He said his ancestors made that same mistake and he's not falling for it.

The school year is like a burrito.

Once you're halfway through you want to give up because everything's just falling apart.

My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.

Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?

Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.

Me: Divorce is strong with this one.

Instructions for falling down the stairs:

Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.

What's the difference between someone falling from 21st floor and 1st floor?

21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH *thump*

1st floor goes: *thump* AHHHHHHHHHH

I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents.

Apparently you can't lie on your resume.

I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend.

You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts.

I saw a sign that said "Falling rocks"

I tried. It doesn't.

There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital

The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.

Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."

Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.

Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.

At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all stupid. We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."

Today I woke up to a blow job..

..never falling asleep with my mouth open again.

What do you call a snobbish criminal falling down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Books keep falling on my head....

I've only got myshelf to blame

I keep falling off my bike.

It's a vicious cycle.

Two men are climbing a mountain. One of them slips and falls.

"Oh my god are you alive?!? Can you hear me?!?"

-- "Yes, I'm alive."

"Did you break your legs?"

-- "No, my legs are fine."

"Did you break your arms?

-- "No, they're OK."

"Well, thank goodness, climb back up!"

-- "I can't."

"Why not?"

-- "I'm still falling."

I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom

turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought

What do you call a male cow that keeps falling asleep?

A bulldozer.

I just made this up. I apologize for my self and my entire ancestory that led to this.

when i die I want it to be from being hit by a falling piano

That way my life ends on a dramatic note.

What's the difference between a man falling from a 40 story building and a 4 story building?

One goes: Ahhhhhhhhh.... Splat
And the other goes: Splat....Ahhhhhhhhh

A man was doing some DIY work on his gas stove

When it all of a sudden blew up and sent him flying through his roof and up into the sky.

On his way up he passed a man falling down from the sky and asked him: Hey, you know anything about gas stoves?

The guy falling responded, Nope, you know anything about parachutes?

A woman texted me with the message, "Your adorable."

I texted back, "No. YOU'RE adorable."

Now she's falling for me. I was only correcting her grammar.

This morning I entered a store...

I noticed the clerk had a missing hand and a watch on it, that kept falling.

\-Why don't you wear it on the other hand?

\-And how am I supposed to put it on, smartass?

I've decided to mind my own business from now on.

A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm fucked...'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''

''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.

''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.

The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.

As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...''

This sub is seriously falling apart

I knew I should've gone to Subway

What's the difference between a person falling off 10th floor and 1st floor of a building?

The person falling of the 10th floor would sound like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" *THUD*

The person falling of the 1st floor would sound like *THUD* "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Why won't black people board cruise ships?

We're not falling for that bullshit again.

What does Tarzan falling to his death have in common with Millenials?

I miss Vine.

What's the difference between falling in the 10th and 1st floor of a building?

In the 10th floor you go:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH \*thud\*

In the 1st floor you go:

\*thud\* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

What's the difference between 100,000 political jokes and a kid falling off a bike.

I still laugh every time I see a kid fall off a bike....
(For real this shit just ain't funny anymore fellas.)

What's the difference between a jumper and a sweater?

A sweater doesn't go splat after falling 40 stories...

A woman and her husband were arguing over the current precipitation...

The woman insisted it was drizzling outside while her husband said that really, it was just misting.

They decided that the argument would be settled by asking their elderly former soviet neighbor Rudolf.

Rudolf grimaced at the sky for a moment and held up a hand to catch some of the falling moisture. "It is drizzle," he declared.

The husband, a little put out by losing the argument, complained. "And why are we accepting our neighbors judgement?"

"Because," the wife replied, "Rudolf the red knows rain, dear."

Covid restrictions...

I'm down with social distancing, but I think my local grocery store has gone too far.

They've put a big X on the floor to show where to stand in line at the register.

I've seen enough Roadrunner cartoons, I'm not falling for that.

What is the name of the captain of a boat made of cork?

Bob.

Sorry, this came to me as I was falling asleep.

Step by step guide to falling down the stairs:

Step 1:

Step 4:

Step 8:

Step 11:

Step 17:

Hospital

I just got back from the funeral of my 82 year old neighbour who died after falling off his roof when fixing his TV antenna.

The funeral was sad, but the reception was excellent.

What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke when Luke's marriage was falling apart?

Use divorce, Luke

What do you call a pig that's falling down a hill?

A sausage roll.

Two Parachutists

Two parachutists jumped out of a plane, they had headsets on so they could talk to each other on the way down.

One man's parachute opened, the other one's didn't.

The guy with the defective chute was falling fast but appeared to be slowly and very calmly trying to figure out the issue. Appeared to be in no rush.

The other guy with the good chute said Hey, you look so calm and collected. Why are you taking your time? Why aren't you panicking?

The guy with the unopened chute said Hey, why should I rush? I've got the rest of my life to figure it out .

Ok Mods I want to know why my post was removed.

It's annoying because my fence keeps falling down.

What happened between a bald person and their hair?

They had a falling out.

In the Netherlands, beef sales are falling so, in order to improve the quality of meat as well as sales, the cows bred for meat are being given cannabis plants to eat instead of grass.

It's safe to say that the steaks have never been higher

I think snow is still in love with me

It keeps falling for me every winter

I think I'm falling in love with my friend's butler.

Serves me right.

Last year, my friend William moved to China and spent 6 months teaching ESL. He ended up falling in love and getting married. And now?

Where there's a Will, there's a Wei.

I had to quit tap dancing.

I kept falling in the sink.

Falling in love makes you do stupid things.

One time I even got married.

What did the bald man say to his hair?

I don't know, but they had a real falling out

williamsaturned.blogspot.com

Source: https://jokojokes.com/falling-jokes.html